The sad and terrible truth is that people prefer to simply ignore the depth of horror that the abuse of children entails. They find it easier to dismiss stories, memories, and writings than to look directly at the evil of child abuse and confront it. It makes hiding the abuse easy for the perpetrator and places an overwhelming burden on children to deal with it, often decades later. People who have survived traumatic abuse know all too well the truth of such evil. The evil is compounded when, as an adult, they continue to have their traumatic history denigrated and dismissed.

PTSD and complex PTSD always involves the loss of control, whether it be in a courtroom at the hands of a defense attorney on cross examination or at the hands of a celebrity “therapist” seeking ratings and phony closure within the 45 minute segment they are promoting. If asked by a patient about the advisability of suing an abuser, I always cautioned about the risk of retraumatization.  While it was always the patient’s decision, when asked, I always urged careful consideration of this risk. Then, I supported whatever choice they made.

Re-learning the experience of safety is not easy when safety is taken from you at an early age, but relearning it is the key to healing. Therapy is often and correctly focused in many ways on protecting yourself from retraumatization so that you can genuinely experience being safe in the present moment. You are not obligated to relate to abusers, past or present, whether they be family members or celebrities, regardless of their demands and promises. They will likely have their own agenda, which is not necessarily your healing. Your healing must be the priority, and remember that you are never obligated to retraumatize yourself for anyone’s entertainment.